Clearing space
Quest. To succeed, I have to live. No life, no Fairy God Mother. I am making space for her/for you. I am creating my body into an empty stage, a space for you. Sinew and bone. No messy gender. No sex. Nothing but a shadow of an elf. Everything's overdetermined, has too many causes. A touch of the ana takes the edge off the emotions. If I feel too much, I won't make it. I'll do what I want to do, day after day. I'll go to bed and never wake up. That's what I want to do. But I also want to live, and live for you. Here's what I've done. I'm clearing the space. Clearing the feelings that dull the focus. Removing every practical obstacle. No pity. No pity for the s/elf who failed you. She will go on with the whip at her back, living living, against her will, as long as I can drive her. Be yourself, you said. But what am I? I am the point of intersection between a set of abilities and a set of responsibilities. Nothing, then. A point has no m...
